A woman is driving home from work on a sunny afternoon. She’s a little stressed and goes a bit too fast. Suddenly, she sees a police car with flashing lights in the rear view mirror, signaling her to pull over.
Woman: “Is there a problem, Officer?”
Officer: “Ma’am, you were speeding.”
Woman: “Oh, I see.”
Officer: “Can I see your license, please?”
Woman: “I’d give it to you, but I don’t have one.”
Officer: “You don’t have one?”
Woman: “Nope, I lost it 4 times for drunk driving.”
Officer: “I see… can I see your vehicle registration papers, please.”
Woman: “I can’t do that.”
Officer: “Why not?”
Woman: “I stole this car.”
Officer: “You stole it?”
Woman: “Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.”
Officer: “You what?!”
Woman: “His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.”
The officer looks at the woman, his mouth gaping. He slowly backs away to his car, and calls for backup. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car.
A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: “Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle, please!”
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Woman: “Is there a problem sir?”
Officer 2: “One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.”
Woman: “Murdered the owner?”
Officer 2: “Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.”
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: “Is this your car, ma’am?”
Woman: “Yes, here are the registration papers.”
The first officer is stunned.
Officer 2: “One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.”
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: “Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.”
Woman: “I bet you that lying bastard told you I was speeding too!”
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