He has sex with the daughter and her mother on the kitchen table – their dad’s reaction cracks me up

He has sex with the daughter and her mother on the kitchen table – their dad’s reaction cracks me up

Some people are incredibly competitive and will do practically anything to win. Sometimes this is a good thing, sometimes it’s bad. This is one such story.

A family were having dinner, and had invited the daughter’s boyfriend over for the first time. While they were preparing the meal, they started discussing who should do the dishes.

“I’m the breadwinner of this family, I’m not doing the dishes,” says the father.

“I did the dishes last Monday,” says the daughter.

The mother replies, “But I’m the one cooking!”

The kitchen is quiet for a moment, until the mother gets an idea: “I know what we’ll do. The first of us to speak will do the dishes!”

The father and the daughter both do a thumbs-up gesture.

15 minutes pass in total silence until they hear the daughter’s boyfriend arrive on his bicycle. His bike is old and rusty, and every time he pedals it produces a “quee-quee” noise.

The boy parks his bike and enters.

“Good evening!”

The boyfriend is met by total silence. He’s a bit taken aback by this, and goes to sit next to the daughter at the table. The father goes to fetch the soup, and serves it without saying a word.

The boyfriend takes a sip, “This soup is great.”

No reply.

Whenever he says something during the meal, nobody responds. By now he’s starting to panic, and decides to do something drastic to get the family’s attention.

“Whoopsie!” he says, as he puts his hand on the daughter’s thigh.

No reaction.

He squeezes her breasts. Still no reaction.

The boyfriend thinks, “This is madness! What should I do?”

Then he lifts the daughter up on the table, pulls up her skirt and has sex with her right then and there.

After he’s finished, the daughter sits down at the table again and continues to eat, all without uttering a single word.

“This makes no sense. You’re all crazy! At least tell me that I have to marry her!” the boyfriend yells in desperation.

He storms out of the kitchen and pedals away on his bike, “quee-quee”.

“What a bunch of nutcases!” he yells to no-one in particular.

“Quee-quee.”

“I slept with their daughter on the table and they didn’t even say a word!”

“Quee-quee.”

“I should have slept with her mother as well, they probably wouldn’t have said a word then either!”

“Quee-quee.”

“Hmm. Her mother?” he thinks to himself.

He turns around, and (“quee-quee”) heads back.

He opens the door, walks up to the mother, bends her over the table, lifts up her skirt and has sex with her.

After he’s finished, he says his goodbyes and leaves. Still, nobody else says a word.

“Quee-quee.”

“What a family!” he says to himself.

“Quee-quee.”

“AND THIS BIKE KEEPS MAKING THIS DAMN NOISE!”

“Quee-quee.”

“I can’t stand it anymore! I have to do something, this squeaky noise is driving me crazy!”

He turns around, bikes back to the family, opens the door and yells:

“Do you have any lube?”

Then the father quickly stands up:

“Okay, okay! I’ll do the dishes!”

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