Back when I was growing up we had a traffic cop who was nicknamed “Stickler Steve”. He was one of those people who would never drink on the 4th of July, and was always early for work even when he had the day off, just to be able to go out and hunt for traffic violations.
In the end he may have made the roads in my county a bit safer, but you’d be hard pressed to appreciate that when he was pulling you over for going 5 mph above the speed limit… This story is about someone on the other side of the law. I found it really funny, but I wonder if Stickler Steve would too?
Just after closing time, a New Jersey police car is slowly rolling past a TGI Friday’s. Suddenly, Michael reels out of the restaurant, looking thoroughly drunk, clutching his car keys for his dear life.
The police car stops, and both officers watch Michael with astonishment. He slowly stumbles toward the parking lot, and then tests his car key on no less than seven different cars before finding the right one, after which he struggles to get into his seat.
He then sits there for ten minutes, turning on the wipers despite it being a clear summer’s evening with not a cloud in sight.
He turns the headlights on and off a couple of times, honks, and then turns the hazard lights on and off.
He turns the engine on and with a scraping sound puts the car in drive. The car stutters forward for a few yards, when suddenly the engine dies. While Michael tries to get the car running a few more times, the parking lot is slowly emptying of cars.
Finally, as Michael is the last person in the parking lot, he manages to get the car rolling, and swervingly drives out of the lot and heads north.
The patient police officers turn on their sirens, pulls Michael over and makes him use a breathalyzer. When the device showed negative, the officers couldn’t believe their eyes!
One of the officers says, “You better come down to the station and take a blood test son, this breathalyzer must be broken!”
“I doubt that,” Michael says with a grin. “I’m the designated decoy!”
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