The secret to success is to be organized and to learn from your mistakes. Here are four stories that will help you reach your goals.
Four lessons in business strategy
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her own shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Jim, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Jim says, “I’ll give you $800 if you drop that towel.”
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands stark naked in front of Jim.
After taking in the sight for a few seconds, Jim hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, “Who was that?”
“It was Jim, the next door neighbor,” she replies.
“Great,” the husband says, “did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”
Moral of the story: Always share relevant information about credit and risk with your shareholders in order to prevent avoidable exposure.
A priest is driving his car down a sunny country road, when he suddenly sees a nun waiting at a bus stop. He pulls over and offers her a lift. The young nun thanks him, puts her luggage in the trunk, and sits down in the passenger seat next to the priest.
As they set off, the nun shifts to fasten her seat belt, and her gown opens slightly to reveal a lovely leg. The priest glances down and nearly has an accident. After getting the car under control, he can’t help but put his hand on her knee, slowly sliding it up her leg.
The nun looks at him and immediately says, “Father, remember psalm 129.”
The priest gets flustered and apologizes profusely. He forces himself to remove his hand. However, he is unable to remove his eyes from her leg. Further on while changing gear, he lets his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again says, “Father, remember psalm 129.”
Once again the priest apologizes. “Sorry sister, but the flesh is weak.” Arriving at the convent, the nun gets out, gives him a meaningful glance and goes on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushes to retrieve a bible and looks up psalm 129.
The psalm said, “Go forth and seek, further up you will find glory.”
Moral of the story: Always be well informed in your job, or you may miss a great opportunity.
Chuck moved to the Montana countryside and bought a bull from a farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the bull the next day. The next day he drove up and said, “Sorry, son, but I have some bad news, the bull has died.”
Chuck replied, “Well, then just give me my money back.”
The farmer said, “Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.”
Chuck said, “OK then, just bring me the dead bull.”
The farmer asked, “Huh? What are you going to do with him?”
Chuck said, “I’m going to raffle him off.”
The farmer said, “You can’t raffle off a dead bull!”
Chuck said, “Sure I can. Now hand over that bull, please.”
A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, “What happened with that dead bull?”
Chuck said, “I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a net profit of $898”
The farmer said, “Didn’t anyone complain?”
Chuck said, “Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.”
Moral of the story: You can always turn a loss into a win.
A young man goes into a drug store to buy a condom. He finds the situation a bit embarrassing, so he feels like he has to explain his purchase to the pharmacist.
“I’ve been seeing this girl for a while and she’s really hot. I need the condoms because I think tonight’s the night. We’re having dinner with her parents, and then we’re going out. And I’ve got a feeling that I’m gonna get lucky after that.”
Before paying, he reconsiders and asks for yet another condom.
“The girl’s sister sometimes flirts with me. I’m sure that she’s into me, maybe I’ll get lucky with her tonight as well.”
After reconsidering yet again, he pays for 3 condoms and says:
“The girl’s mother is pretty young and hot. I think she’ll like me, and maybe I’ll have a shot at her as well!”
The young man makes his purchase and leaves.
Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might say grace and they agree. He begins the prayer, and after a short while everyone starts eating, except for the young man, who continues praying for several minutes.
The girl leans over to him and says, “You never told me that you were such a religious person.”
The boy leans over to her and whispers, “You never told me that your father is a pharmacist!”
Moral of the story: Never discuss your plans with strangers, you might reveal sensitive details.
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