Back when I was growing up we had a traffic cop who was nicknamed “Stickler Steve”. He was one of those persons who would never drink on the 4th of July, and was always early for work even when he had the day off, just to be able to go out and hunt for traffic violations. In the end he may have made the roads in my county a bit safer, but you’d be hard pressed to appreciate that when he was pulling you over for going 5 mph above the speed limit… This story is about another Steve on the other side of the law. I found it really funny, but I wonder if Stickler Steve would too?
Just after closing time, a New Jersey police car is slowly rolling past a TGI Friday’s. Suddenly, Steve reels out of the restaurant, looking thoroughly drunk, clutching his car keys for his dear life.
The police car stops, and both officers watch Steve with astonishment. He slowly stumbles toward the parking lot, and then tests his car key on no less than seven different cars before finding the right one, after which he struggles to get into his seat.
He then sits there for ten minutes, turning on the wipers despite it being a clear summer’s evening with not a cloud in sight.
He turns the headlights on and off a couple of times, honks, and then turns the hazard lights on and off.
He turns the engine on and with a scraping sound puts the car in drive. The car stutters forward for a few yards, when suddenly the engine dies. While Steve tries to get the car running a few more times, the parking lot is slowly emptying of cars.
Finally, as Steve is the last person in the parking lot, he manages to get the car rolling, and swervingly drives out of the lot and heads north.
The patient police officers turn on their sirens, pulls Steve over and makes him use a breathalyzer. When the device showed negative, the officers couldn’t believe their eyes!
“You gotta come with us and take a blood test, this breathalyzer must be broken,” says one of the officers.
“I doubt that,” Steve says with a grin. “I’m the designated decoy tonight!”
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