Men and women have a lot in common, but there’s also plenty that sets us apart. We definitely have different ways of communicating, which can lead to both problems and hilarious situations.
For this reason, we’ve compiled 17 things women often say that men always misunderstand. Be warned, this is for fun and is not an exact science, so take it with a grain of salt!
This list can be used as a cheat sheet if you men are ever unsure about what your partner or female friend is saying. You have to interpret what they say correctly – but sometimes that’s easier said than done!
I have to say this list was scarily accurate for me!
1. “It’s nothing!”
Alarm bells should go off at this. It’s definitely something, and you had better figure it out quick if you know what’s good for you.
2. “Do I look fat in this?”
This means “Do you you think I’m ugly”, alternatively “Do you think I’m fat?”. So for God’s sake, think twice before answering this question!
3. “Do what you want!”
Hold up – never take this at face value. In fact, she’s daring you to do what you want, and if you do, you’re in deep trouble! You’d better not leave her side for the next few hours, the only possible exception being if you need to go to the toilet – if even then…
4. “Mm, sure…”
This is sometimes a hesitant “yes”, but in 95% of cases a “no”. So if you get this as a reply to the question “Should I change the channel to the football game?”, then you should follow up with, “Actually, I’d rather just talk.”
5. “It would be nice if we could…”
This means that she’s already decided what you’re going to do. This is non-negotiable, and is probably already booked. Can be translated as “we’re going to…”.
This signals end of discussion, and the subject won’t be discussed for another 3 days. Just remember that she won the argument.
7. “I’m not really hungry…”
But if you bring home food for yourself – and not for her – then you better pack up your bags and look for somewhere else to live. This means that she’s going to get hungry soon, and when she does, there had better be food around!
8. “Are you even listening to what I’m saying?”
You had better perk up your ears, because she’s about to explode. After hearing this line, you’re not allowed to ask any questions about the topic for a good while – because then you clearly didn’t listen.
9. “It’s up to you”
But you’d better not choose wrong! Another way of saying this is “It’s up to you… to make the right choice, which I know what it is, but I’m not going to tell you, because you should know.”
If you interpret this as simply “It’s up to you”, then you’re in for a rude awakening.
10. “I’m done in 3 minutes!”
Add a zero and round up to the nearest half hour, maybe more. You’re allowed to hurry her up after about an hour – until then you should just steer clear. If you’re late, then it’s important to note that it’s your fault.
11. “Thanks a lot”
Never confuse this with “thanks”, which means what it says on the tin. But add “a lot”, and the meaning changes to the opposite.
12. “Forget it”
You’ve messed up and should apologize. This means “Don’t forget what just happened or you’ll regret it later.”
13. “We need to talk…”
Oh lordy, your goose is cooked. Your fate is sealed – there’s no escape. But if you focus on survival, you might just make it out alive…
14. “Do you have to do that right now?”
She might as well yell “Stop that right now!”. You’ve screwed up and have the wrong priorities right now. Simply put: there are more important things to focus on.
15. “I’m not angry…”
This means “I’m so damn furious that I’m considering strangling you – and it’s making me even angrier that you can’t see it, you damn fool!” You’d better guard your tongue!
16. “Can’t we just stop fighting?”
You can actually feel proud here – this comment means that you won the argument, but she doesn’t want to admit it right now. So instead of admitting that you’re in the right, she chooses to end the argument – thereby making sure that she can always call it a tie later.
17. “I have a headache…”
Don’t touch her, but every now and then ask if she needs anything. Under no circumstances should you be intimate here – unless she specifically asks you to be. After this comment, sex this evening is as likely as her admitting you’re right in an argument.
Don’t be cheap, SAHRE this and send it on to your male friends who can make use of this list!