11 doctors vent about their dumbest patients ever – number 8 is so stupid it hurts

11 doctors vent about their dumbest patients ever – number 8 is so stupid it hurts

The people working in healthcare are often amazing and work hard at their jobs. Sometimes they’re put in strange situations, and get to experience some pretty odd stuff.

Below are 11 doctors and nurses testifying to the fact that sometimes, people are just clueless. Some stories are tragic, others are funny – but on the whole, it’s easy to see that some people simply lack common sense and perception of reality.

1. “A middle aged lady in the operating room once told us at the last minute (as she was being wheeled in) that she’s allergic to latex. Everyone freaks out because so much of the stuff we use in theater has latex in it, so we take her to the latex free room and do her surgery there. When she’s in recovery and awake I enquire as to what reaction she has to latex. ‘I just don’t really like the sound that latex gloves make, dear.’ I just turned around and walked out.”

2. “I once had a 20 year old female patient who didn’t know that having sex would lead to pregnancy. She had no idea.”

3. “I instructed ‘Don’t eat or drink anything after midnight’ before his 3 year old daughter’s surgery the next morning (tonsils and adenoids). While intubating his daughter the next morning, she vomited scrambled eggs, causing her to aspirate them into her lungs. Her heart stopped, and I did chest compressions on her for 25 minutes. We got her back, aborted the surgery, and transferred her to pediatric ICU on a ventilator. Her father’s response: ‘She said she was hungry. I thought you were being too hard on her. It must have been something you did to her.’”

4. “Just because it says ‘contains vegetable extracts’ on the side of a can of coke does not make it OK to only drink coke instead of eating vegetables…”

5. After looking at the patients chart and seeing she had diabetes:
Me: Do you have any medical conditions?
Patient: No.
Me: Are you sure, you’ve never been told you have any diseases?
Patient: Never.
Me: What medications do you take?
Patient: Insulin.. for my diabetes.

6. “I once had to use the word ‘d**k’ instead of ‘penis’ because the patient didn’t know the proper term for male genitalia.”

7. “There was a short-lived scurvy ‘epidemic’ on a college campus because some kids thought that pizza and Mountain Dew was a sufficient diet.”

8. “I’m a veterinary technician. I once had to explain to a frantic client that the ticks she had frantically been trying to remove from her male dog’s belly with tweezers were actually his nipples. I also told her she had an extremely well-behaved, patient dog.”

9. “I had an old lady come in with a massive bleed in her brain. She was pretty much gone. I had to explain to her tearful son that there was nothing we could do. He said that he loved his mama, and he’d give anything for her. So he asked us to give her his brain, for a brain transplant. I actually was left speechless for a minute, and then had to spend another 20 minutes explaining why that was not possible.”

10. “Mom brought her kids to the ER after they ate all of their Halloween candy because they had tummy aches. They were still eating Reese’s peanut-butter cups when they were in the exam room. I had to explain to her that they need to cut back on the candy and she looked at me like I had three heads.”

11. “This patient had to be told that the reason her son was getting sick at school every day was because she was packing him peanut butter sandwiches and he was allergic to peanuts. She honestly didn’t know that was an ingredient, and he was in middle school and wasn’t bright enough to realize it himself.”

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